Editor’s Note: This column displays a side of Peter that few people are aware of. The edgy Autoextremist needs no introduction, of course. But this column is special. Peter’s Rant takes the form of an ode to this particularly fraught time in the business. Strange days indeed. In On The Table we feature the latest from Alfa Romeo, and our AE Song of the Week is the classic “Crazy” performed by the great Patsy Cline – a song that was written by Willie Nelson, who turned 90 last week. In Fumes, Peter delivers Part XV of his riveting series “The Great Races” – this week going back to Brands Hatch, England, for the 1967 6-Hour BOAC International 500 – the last major international sports car victory for Jim Hall’s famous Chaparral team. And finally, we have coverage from INDYCAR at Barber Motorsport Park; the F1 Azerbaijan Grand Prix and the Gran Premio MotoGP™ Guru by Gryfyn de España, with more superb photographic work by AE Special Contributor Whit Bazemore in The Line. Enjoy! -WG
By Peter M. DeLorenzo
Detroit.
The darkness beckons at 3:00 a.m.A cup or two or three to jump-start meThe news is weird, spinning like a topOn one side, sketchy optimismOn the other, the ugly realityBelieve your eyes, not the stories
On the way to the EV Promised LandThe bumps and grinds and promisesAre getting to be a bit too muchThe Future is starry bright, if we just hang onBut ’24, ’25, ’26?Who has that kind of time?
Flying cars and IPOsTakeovers in the search for more controlThe bootlickers and the shallow menHankerin’ for another pieceElbows out juggling empty lotsSomething tells me we’ve lost the plot
It’s all happeningEverything all the time
The media goes on genuflectin’Not even pretendin’Why bother askin’ when no one’s watchin’?The newly anointed King can do no wrongPay no attention to those flyin’ roofsThey’re just a blip on the way to sainthood
The Sturm und Drang oozesIt’s the Swirling Maelstrom writ largeThe chaos is the juice, or is the juice the chaos?Pay no attention to that PR Man Behind the CurtainThe tongue is forked, the agenda is clearAnd don’t kid yourself, the chips still set the tone
The bad taste is palpableThe wait is long and debilitatingEven Godot has come and goneBut don’t worry, it won’t be long nowWide-open promises, unlimited profitsJust don’t ask when or how
It’s all happeningEverything all the time
It’s all about the content, stupidLeveraging everything that movesThere’s gold in them thar subscriptionsRevenue for the takingStop calling it a car companyIt’s a tech company in the making
Forget about Old SchoolThere’s no future in oldThe sooner we get with the programAnd leave the past behindThe better off we’ll beIt’s as simple as a-b-c
The Wall Street Willies call the shotsIt’s all about what they’re gonna say and doThumbs up and the stock soarsThumbs down and we told you soWhat about the consumers?As long as they’re payin’ their monthlies, who cares?
It’s all happeningEverything all the time
The prognosticators are having a field dayMaking it up on the flyForget about tea leavesNow it’s watching chip dust through an hour glassDo they really know what’s coming?Or are they just spewing by the by?
We’ll get it all sorted outOr so they sayBut who is “they” anyway?What have they ever done to deserveMore than a glance and a glimpseAs we ride on by?
Batteries on the brainCheaper better fasterSmaller lighter longerThe ICE Era is overOr sometime soonIt was a good long run, Baby
It’s all happeningEverything all the time
Too many promisesToo much optimismWaiting for a triggerSo everything comes goodI’ve seen this movie beforeIt never ends well
The hucksters have come out of the woodworkNew companies in name onlyIt’s gonna be greatUntil the inevitable wreckWhen there’s no “there” thereWhat did you expect?
In the meantime, the dealersAre hangin’ by a threadThis crisis is messin’ with their headsThey can’t sell what they don’t haveEmpty lots, empty promisesCan we interest you in a ‘17 Lexus?
The darkness hoversJust as black at 5:00 a.m.How can that be?And what have we learned?Nothing new, nothing muchIt’s complicated
It’s all happeningEverything all the time
And that’s the Electrified High-Octane Truth for this week.
Editor’s Note: You can access previous issues of AE by clicking on “Next 1 Entries” below. – WG
